i just made my gag reflex go away.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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