I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
