guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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