Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sober January is a disaster.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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