if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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