so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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