We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
