So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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