ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
