note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
