I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
