I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
