And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
