i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
