just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
