She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
