True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
