is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm really busy with my period
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