so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just cut my nipple shaving
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
how does that bad decision feel?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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