we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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