Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
