YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
