I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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