bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize