Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
