Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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(+33): View more from France

Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

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(480): View more from Arizona

I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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(937): View more from Ohio

No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

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(971): View more from Oregon

Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.

(1-228): View more from Mississippi

Probably on drugs.

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(208): View more from Idaho

You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...

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