end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
