Just fell off a train. Bad.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
