operation harelip BJ is a go
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
