A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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