I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We just shotgunned beers for America
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
