I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
