used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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