Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
