super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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