wakey wakey hands off snakey
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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