Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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