Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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