I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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