I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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