But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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