thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
