Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
