somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
