WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
