the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
