On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
