It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
soo... how was my night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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