i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
