this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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