where does the pee come out of this thing
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
