so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
