I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
