I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Girls should come with a carfax report
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
