so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
