honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize