small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
