so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
