adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
