If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
