i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
