Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
