So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
