Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
