i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
