sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
