I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
